Tag: family

by Ron Bare

My parents taught me to be generous. Throughout my childhood they instilled many values, both in speech and in action – but it was the “action” values that really remained. I don’t remember whether our house was always clean or whether my mom’s meals were always perfectly cooked. But I do remember that she was always feeding not only me, but all of my friends too. I remember my father faithfully tithing. My mom was also generous with her time, volunteering at church and a local thrift shop. I learned by watching her that generosity can be expressed in many forms and that family giving is hugely impactful.

I believe many of us would love to leave legacies of a strong work ethic or faithfully tithing, similar to my parents. We all have a deep desire to impact those around us. So how do we do it?

Last month, we talked about six buckets of long-term goals. We focused on the giving bucket and about what it means to give out of our assets and accumulation. This takes intentional planning and a generous heart.

This month, we’re focused on the family goals bucket. Many of us have a desire within our hearts to support our children or grandchildren. This support comes in different forms depending on our values and lifestyle. We often begin with goals of helping our children financially. These goals typically involve helping with their education, first home, or leaving an inheritance.

In the same way that my parents taught me the many ways to be generous, I’d invite you to consider the many ways to handle family goals. Offering college support or leaving an inheritance aren’t the only ways to support your family. The values and wisdom you instill in your children and grandchildren around finances can be even more valuable than the finances themselves. One of my mentors, Ron Blue, stresses the importance of this concept in a quote he has been known to say, ” Pass on wisdom before wealth.”  Your children and grandchildren will continue to think of you after you’re gone. What do you hope comes to their mind? What did they see you model? How did you talk to them about money?

Maybe there are patterns you can establish, like giving first before paying your bills, that your children will pick up on. It could be valuable to also consider a fund that could be started to help fund the dreams and goals of the next generation, including helping them start a business, buy a home or even invest into their giving goals. Consider how your life experiences can be valuable to share. Simply inviting your children into some of your financial conversations can be invaluable. You’ve learned lessons through your successes and failures that have the potential to be a great resource to the next generation.

Part of the reason we encourage thinking about more than just giving financially to our family is because we know that without the values piece, sometimes more harm than good can happen. Instead of instilling a mindset of perseverance, sacrifice or hard work, financial blessings can create entitlement or dependence without wisdom.  At some point, you may have done “enough” financially for your family. This has to be a real consideration. You can still serve your family even if the answer for right now is ‘no.’ I have seen that entitlement and dependence are less likely to happen when we’re successful with passing on wisdom and values.

I have been blessed to have a wonderful mother and father. Not because our home was always perfect. Simply because I was taught important lessons about generosity, especially about finances. What are your children and grandchildren learning from you? Family goals are so valuable, yet can be approached in many ways. We’d love to hear about how you and your family creatively approach your family goals.

Join us next month for a conversation about our capital assets and investments and how they can shift the culture and influence the world for good.

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